20 Things Sneakerheads Say During An Online Release


We’ve all been guilty of saying some things we don’t mean when we’re upset, but nothing brings out the wild statements quite like when a new pair of kicks releases online.

Someone took the shoes out of my cart.

Some places hold your cart once you’ve added the kicks and others don’t. You gotta know the rules and move with the quickness!

If I can't get mine, then somebody isn't getting theirs.

Dude A cops that latest hot release and posts a pic of his confirmation on social media. Salty Dude B, who missed out, sees said post, and calls the store and cancels the order. We didn’t know about this particular shiesty move, but apparently that’s where we’re at in the game right now.

My Internet isn't fast enough.

That’s certainly a possibility, but be honest, it was really YOU that wasn’t fast enough.


Look, we’re as mad as the next person when we swing and a miss, but be real…never? Nike’s really gonna miss your $160 a month.

These are sold out already?! (before the release)

The old misdirection play. We’ve seen this countless times with Kith or exclusive releases. Folks often claim on message boards and Twitter that the shoe is sold out or super limited, in the hope that others see that and give up, strengthening their chances. Shady.

Your website is broken!

No doubt, websites DO break down…but not often enough to merit this kind of reaction. Nike isn’t new to the traffic of hot releases. They’ve been here before, so act like you have too. Perhaps this one was on you.

That's it...I'm out! Too traumatized...

Again, we get the frustration of missing out on those kicks you’ve been eyeing, but take a breath. There are always plenty of ways to come up on them in resale. And don’t forget, there’s always the next release. ALWAYS.

Time to plan my revenge.

This is where we sound like our parents (or any other non-sneakerhead): they’re JUST SHOES. No need to cop a felony instead of some kicks.

I don't even like those kicks anyway.

Oh, you mean you just woke up early and spent hours online refreshing webpages for fun? Alright then. This must be one of the steps in the grieving process, denial.

Let me throw out a guilt trip and see if that will help.

All respect to those fighting for our freedoms, but come on. You think Nike’s gonna just break you off a pair because you made them feel bad. The thirst is real.

I'm going to cut myself would be "Threatening Self Mutilation."

Easy now guys. No need to go all “Girl, Interrupted” because you missed out on paying retail for a pair of sneakers. Again; THEY’RE JUST SHOES.

I got those already...for $400.

Oh you got those exclusives before they even released huh? Well tell your boy Ronnie Fieg to break us off a pair too. Hey, at least shipping is free.

Whether I know who I'm threatening or not, somebody is going to hear it.

Nike (or Finishline, or Footlocker) doesn’t care that you’re trashing them online. And threatening a corporation? Good luck getting yourself on some sort of government watch list.

See, what had happened was...

You know what they say: “Happy wife, happy life”. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

I'm blaming it on the hype(beasts).

It’s true, the hype surrounding a release does make it tough sometimes. But, if you’re trying to get the same shoes they are, what does that make you?

I was going to spend my [insert bills here] money!

The struggle to afford ever-rising sneaker costs is real. But seriously, get your priorities together.

The website is a scam!

Oh really? You mean those other folks who all copped their kicks got scammed too? Okay. One less buyer to compete with.

The BOT conspiracy is real.

The bot problem with NDC is well known, but most other platforms have yet to be cracked. We all know it’s a problem, but that doesn’t make it impossible to cop. Take off the tinfoil hat; the world isn’t actively working against you.

I'm gonna make a killing reselling these!

We get it; the resale game exists for a reason. But, you don’t have to go rubbing it in the faces of those folks that were actually going to, you know, WEAR the sneakers. That’s one way to get the bad sneaker ju-ju.

Got 'em!!

Hey, it’s not always negative: sometimes you win too. And when you do, try and celebrate better than this guy.


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  • sunsoldier1998

    Last one is perfect. Sometimes you win, sometimes, you miss out. That’s life, and not that serious.

  • TheDayRuiner

    Andrew got roasted again on Hypebeast.com #CLOWN

  • Benjamin

    Easy cop.


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